You Sabotage Good Things Right Before They Work Out - Here's What's Really Happening
Does this sound familiar?
Things are going well.
A relationship is deepening. You’re opening up. Something good is happening— something you've wanted for a long time.
And then suddenly, you pull back. Maybe you pick a fight. Or you convince yourself it's not right and you walk away.
It's not that you don't want it. It's that some part of you is terrified of having it.
If this pattern sounds familiar, your heart chakra is holding old fear.
But self-sabotage isn't simple. It's not just one chakra or one wound. It's a complex protective system your body built to keep you from getting hurt again.
Your Heart Chakra Is Holding Fear of Loss
Your heart chakra sits in the centre of your chest. It's the energetic centre of love — giving love, receiving love, and feeling safe enough to open your heart.
When it's clear, you can be vulnerable. You can let people in. You can trust that love won't destroy you.
But when it's blocked with fear — especially fear of abandonment, betrayal, or loss — your heart chakra shuts down to protect you.
If you've been left before, if someone you loved walked away or hurt you deeply, your heart chakra remembers. It remembers the pain of being abandoned. And it's trying to make sure that never happens again.
So when something good starts to happen, when someone gets close, when love feels real — your heart chakra panics. It thinks: If I let this in, I'll get destroyed when it ends.
And it sabotages the connection before you can get hurt.
But Your Solar Plexus Is Wobbling Bit Time!
Here's what most people miss: self-sabotage isn't just fear of loss. It's also fear of not being enough.
Your solar plexus — your center of confidence, worthiness, and personal power — is holding a different kind of fear.
It's holding the belief that you don't deserve this. That you're not capable of sustaining something good. That you'll mess it up, disappoint them, or prove that you're not worth loving after all.
So even when your heart wants to open, your solar plexus is saying: Don't. You'll ruin it. You're not enough for this.
This is why sabotage feels so confusing. Part of you is terrified of being left. Another part of you is terrified of staying and being exposed as unworthy.
So you leave first. You create the ending before it can happen to you. You protect yourself from both fears at once.
Your Inner Child Is Protecting You
The part of you that sabotages isn't your adult self. It's the young version of you who experienced the original wound.
Maybe you were five years old when your dad left. Or ten when your mum chose someone else over you. Or fifteen when your first love broke your heart.
That young part of you made a decision in that moment:
Love isn't safe. People leave. I won't survive this again.
And she's been protecting you ever since.
She's the one who picks fights when things get too close. She's the one who convinces you this person isn't right. She's the one who finds reasons to leave before they can leave you.
She thinks she's keeping you safe. And in her world, she is.
But she's operating from a moment that's long gone. She doesn't know that you're an adult now. That you can handle loss differently. That not everyone is going to abandon you the way you were abandoned before.
Until she heals, she'll keep sabotaging — because that's the only way she knows how to protect you.
The Subconscious Programs Running Underneath
Your subconscious absorbed the original wound and created programs to keep you safe:
"Love doesn't last." "People always leave." "If I open my heart, I'll get destroyed." "I'm not worthy of being loved fully." "It's safer to be alone."
These aren't just thoughts. They're energetic programs running underneath your awareness, making decisions for you before you even realize it.
They're why you lose interest when someone is consistent. They're why you find flaws in people who are actually good for you. They're why you create problems where there aren't any.
Your subconscious is trying to prove itself right. It's looking for evidence that love isn't safe — and when it can't find it, it creates it.
How I Work With This Specific Pattern
In a session, we work with all of these layers — not just one.
We go to your heart chakra and see what pain it's holding. What memory, what wound, what belief is keeping it closed.
We work with your inner child — the part of you who experienced the original abandonment. We help her feel safe enough to let go. We show her that not everyone is going to leave. That she's not alone anymore.
We clear the subconscious programming — the beliefs running underneath everything that are keeping the sabotage in place. We replace "love isn't safe" with "I can trust love now." We shift "I'm not worthy" into "I deserve to be loved fully."
We work with your solar plexus — releasing the fear of not being enough. Helping you believe that you are capable of sustaining love. That you won't ruin it.
Sometimes we need to address past life patterns too. If the fear of love runs deeper than this lifetime, if your soul remembers being hurt or abandoned in other lives, we clear that too.
It's layered work. It's specific to YOU and your wound. And it takes time — because we're not just managing the sabotage, we're releasing it from the root.
What Happens When This Pattern Is Cleared
When we release this fear properly — when we work with all the layers — the sabotage stops.
You stop pushing people away when they get close. You stop creating problems to avoid intimacy. You stop convincing yourself you don't deserve love.
You can actually let someone in. You can stay when things feel good. You can open your heart without the panic telling you to run.
It doesn't happen overnight. Real healing takes time. But when it's done at the root, it lasts.
If You're Ready
Sessions are 60 minutes and available in-person at my studio in Brookvale or as distance healing.
If you're tired of sabotaging what you want and you're ready to let love in, I'm here.
You don't have to do this alone.
Selene xx
