Why Soldier on when you should rest?
I have been sick with the flu and have had to take some time off from work and I must say it was quite hard to call in sick the second day. All these thoughts were racing through my head around the fact that I should go, things needed to be done, what if something came up, you know what I mean. And then I started to see that I was debating why I should go and not if I could go. I then became more honest with myself and how little energy I actually had. I started thinking about my authenticity and how much I say ‘honour you body’ but was not doing this at all.
I was swept up in the societal thought forms that we must “soldier on” and keep going no matter what.
We should just take a big does of pharmaceutical drugs and keep on keeping on. Don’t worry about your body and it’s need to rest and rejuvenate, just ignore that or take more drugs! Arrr those ads really annoy me! Can you tell? Anyway it was a turning point and I decided that I would take a second day off from work. I had won the battle!
So just as I was telling myself (and my inner child) how proud I was of us for making this great decision to look after ourselves and honour the process needed to recover, all this anxiety started to bubble up. All the original thoughts plus a lot of other stuff which basically had the unconscious flavour of not beeing good enough. It was fascinating!
So I had another chat to my little girl and told her that we were in fact good enough and that there is nothing wrong with putting yourself and your health first. I then imagined my boss (who as exceptional good lucky would have it is also my Guru and my greatest teacher) looking at me and seeing how sick and drained I was and knowing that she would want nothing more then for me to stay home and look after myself.
It took a bit of work and a lot of reassurance but I eventually got my inner child to believe me and see that we were allowed to love ourselves this much and all the anxiety lifted.
It was such an interesting journey into the inner workings of my subconscious and how multifaceted we as humans are. It was also great to have to ability to see who everything was playing out and then use some basic techniques to pull myself out of it.